On week two of my visit from Mom. This is the first time she has been here since her fall in June. This fall precipitated many changes for mom and for the family. She was in June hospital for a week and in Kessler rehab for two + weeks. We encouraged her to bump up her plans to move from Toms River, which is an hour and change from her two NJ kids and plenty far away from me. Susan had begun the process of looking at assisted living places, and when I was in NJ to assist with her care I had a chance to view the places too. Mom settled on Emeritus of West Orange, five minutes from Donnie and Catherine and fifteen minutes from Susan. After discharge from rehab she moved right in and we arranged to move her things, clean and empty the house in TR and sell it. A long,challenging summer for everyone. We can appreciate the difficulty of leaving a home you have lived in for more than 20 years, but it is not the same as having to do it. Mom has really struggled with this process and it has been hard to move her along, patiently, and still try to be understanding. Some days go better than others! She has been in Emeritus for a couple of months, and is not super happy. Of course we don't know if she will become accustomed to the place, or get more miserable. She complains that most of the people aren't "with it" and that the administration is not open to her concerns. I think it is just really difficult for her to realize that this is where she is at at this point in her life. I know many people my age are struggling with this, helping aging parents while still respecting their independence and wish to make their own decisions. It is definitely a work in progress!
But the visit has been wonderful! We created "The Nana Suite" in the library, complete with a sign and pictures from Molly, a single bed, portable closet, vanity table and reading lights! She is next to the half bath and we go upstairs every few days for the shower.
She seems to like it, and definitely likes how easy it is to roll the walker across the hardwood floors. The kids have enjoyed having her here, watching movies, talking to her and taking her out to eat. She has cheered Danny on in a crosscountry meet, seen a movie and gone shopping. Also had lots of reading time on the sunporch, with her faithful companion, Harry the dog! He loves to lay right in front of her walker, maybe to keep her from moving around too much?! We also had Cassie this weekend and of course Mom had so much fun with her. She was so excited to have Nana at her Brighton house, and the first night, when she went to kiss nana goodnight she said, " mmm, you smell like flowers Nana" now how's that for insuring your place in the will?!! They sat right next to each other at the table and mom payed attention to every little thing she said or did. And Cassie introduced her to Frozen! Perfect!
Perhaps in the future she will consider coming to live with us, though I know she doesn't want to leave NJ. That is where she has always lived and where her friends are. So we shall see. I will continue to be in prayer for her, and hope that more visits will come. I hope this was a bit of a rest for Susan, who is really the primary caregiver now, arranging the appointments, finding new doctors, shopping, hanging pictures,etc. and that is a big commitment.
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